Im soooo fucked up... totally not in the mood.. still the same after 4 days... and today is the ultimate... everythings was blamed onto me... how come??? i really lost my word to explain... and i still deeply calm.. i know.. once i act and open my mouth.. everyone will be blamed... so juz let me take all of it.. lagi pon mmg aku nk berambus.. dari tgk muka yg kotor lagi jijik tu... nk herdik ke.. marah ke.. tuduh ke.. so what?? nothing to care!
Dia tu memang cam sial, celaka.. anak haram... apa yg ku buat, semuanya salah... padahal dia jugak yg dapat hasilnya.. kalu nk ikutkan hati memang tak sudah aku nk maki budak laknat tu... geram dihati hanya tuhan yg tau.. so kt sini biarlah semuanyer tercoret... tercalar.. terhambur semua kata dusta nista... x sanggup nk simpan lelama.. buat kotor hati ni jer.. then i can relax... stay calm and be cool...
im try my best to hide everything... i know, outside i look soo mad... but inside, my heart was crying.. soo fragile... it was torn into pieces.. how come they did this to me?? what in the world they think i am?? did i do sumthin wrong?? i never.. now, i felt the world was so cruel to me... i know i can do nothin... and the best is.. resign from everything. didnt mean to run away... but everyone will be happy if i did.. so let it be. and i felt so relief... no more burden.. no more charge.. no more mistake... no more blame... no more revenge.. its end! thanks Allah...
no more hard feeling i guess.. im much better.. better than yesterday. guess this the right thing to do from the start..
and the important things.. i learn sumthin.. even i wished and hope it not happen again... but i know.. the far i go.. the more challenging.. the tough it is.. i aware of that.. but for now.. my heart seems to be not so much prepare.. not yet ready.. but im grown from this bitter sweet experience..
today is the last day im here.. after a few couple hour i made up my mind.. so tomorrow i'll be gone.. never want to come here again... this sweet place become my horrible dream to me... i guess that its... yosh.. esok pi layan movie free lagi for the whole day... ku kan lepas kan semua yg tebuku di hati ini... biar lah ianya menjadi mimpi semalam.. kutinggalkan semuanya disini... biarlah ianya menjadi satu kenangan yg pahit namun berguna utk ku di masa hadapan... wahaha~~~
da~~~
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