Kicking the Sicking

SICK. pain in the ass. dun play with my ass.. its sick! uhuk! its my cough, sorry. its been a few days i've been in hazy dizzly situation, sore throat came first, then headache, follow by flu and now cough... what next?? well full package, isnt it? daa.. just wanna check out my blog and update it. its not gud time to story. my head kinda heavy, my eyes kind blurry. and something flowing out from my nose... yuck! ha-ha.

nite, see ya when i see ya. and miss u.

The Day The Man Stood Still...

Its my birthday today. and i 28 by now. AM I? a big question mark there. ha-ha. it suppose like WOW or OH YEAH or sumthin hip hip hooray but for me its kinda unbelievable and unimaginable. still dun believe that i was 28 by now. and sadly its truth; fact and concrete. no more objection. neways, nothin special and nothin interesting and i just having a usual and normal day. what a boring birthday. its ok i guess coz i have no special one to celebrate with. being alone on my birthday is the saddest day. yeah im the sad man, poor me. on 2nd guess its not ok at all. i wish im with her by now but its too late. but hey, i still got my frenz. again, AM I? i'm okay with a few frenz coz im not that friendly. let it be a distance and a big gap. i kinda like that way. to conclude, nothing special on my bday and its not like i hope something miracle or magical happen. nonsense.

so as i in the late 20s, i juz hope that i will find my gal soon, my special one. the one who accept me as i am. the one who understand me the way i am. and always by my side in whatever situation it is. the one who give me strength whenever i was weak. the one who can take care of me. the one who love me and love me whoever i am. woohoo.

Indahnya Hidup Bersyariat

This is early gift form my sister, i guess. i got it yes-two-days. it has been a few years i didnt read any book or even a novel. sigh. no money to buy one lor.. plus no bookstore like mph or popular over here. do i need to open the bookstore then? woohoo~~ in my dream la.

so many thanks to my sis for giving me this book. its really a good one. and hope i can use it as a guide and as a reference in the future.

impatiently i opened it and the first chapter i read it was chapter 5 -munakahad- hehe. hurmm and hurmm.. the rest of the chapter can wait longer. ha-ha!

so for those who dont have it yet, go grab one in the bookstore. it must have.

p/s: sis.. may i have anoather gift for my besday?

a little twisty witchy wishes...

Ayoyo.. no azam list for this new year la. aiseh, lupa daa. ermm actually, yg tahun lepas pon belum tercapai. so kiv la dulu. haha. but i think i got my wishes list for my besday. harap2 ada la yg sudi membacanyer.. hohoho~~~

this is what comes in my mind for this moment...

1. i want PS3 with 40 inch lcd tv.
haha.. bolehkah? sudah lama mengidam nk sentuh ps3 nie.. tp belum kesampaian. how sad. ermm think of ps3 make me remember of my ps2. how she doing over there at damansara. hope she doing fine. hope she not lonely without me. can i get it back? but how?

2. i want a lappy..
bukak cyber, tp laptop sebijik pon xde. komang tol. erm at least kena la ada sebijik kan. hehe. kalu x acer, hp ker.. sony viao pon jadilah.

3. i want a watch..
kalu leh tag hueur mmg cun. tak pon yg limited edition tu..apa ntah namanyer. my last watch i gave it to my dad, dh dia berkenan. kasi je la.. itu pon hadiah from my sis.

4. i want blackberry or iphone4
bukan nk pakai sgt pon.. nk tgk je pebenda yg best sgt ngan tipon nie... cam satio hari tu la.. bila dh dpt, xde la best sgt. biasa je pon. nothing interesting beside 12 mega pixel camera. ceh!

5. i want a gold arowana..
haha.. dh mengarut nie... my whity silver arowana was well grown up. dh besar panjang pon. so nk la kena ada teman kan... xde la lonely sgt..

6. i want a girlfriend
ahaks! mabuk kepayan dah nie... not normal gf. but the special one. incik santa tlg anto satu yer... asap.

ermm ini aje wish list tuk kali nie.. harap2 ada yg mendengarnyer...

No, No and No. oh No!

No luck! either with the girl or with my life itself. *sigh*. need to try harder and smarter. need more space... need more time. need more money too eh? haha. i guess so. but the biggest problem is me and myself; no confidence, no determination, no clue at all for what i want in my life. see why? i dunno what i want. what i need or what i have to do. so clueless. thats why she hate me. woohoo.

No time! liar! there is a time. but still not enough. means poor time management. and thats me. most of my times i dedicated to my job, my unstable business (for a moment). so sorry to say, i have no time to go out, to take a leave or holiday.. why is hard to understand. it is not enuf with phone calls (even more ignored than answered), sms or once in a while went out and have a dinner. enuff la tuu kan? tp pernah ke?

No chemistry. iye la kot.. we so much different. u tried to change me so much in no time. and i love the way i am. dont bossy me around. its over.

No money. a'a mmg xde sesen pon skrg nie. thats why i keje bagai nk rak. (tido pon byk sebenarnyer) hehe. i xde harta, xde rumah, xde kereta. i have nothing. but i have a big heart with a big dreams... and sadly u dont care about it like i care about you.

No talk. dont talk too much. yeah i know i not that talkative. im prefer silent than lousy bitchy chatty big f*cking mouth. im person with less talk and just say a few important words. unless i found something interesting... hehe.

No topic. haha.. sebenarnyer xde topik nk citer.. sebab tu i melaluk mengarut mencarut di petang hari nie. sowy guys u had to listen to crappy story. END.

Chris Young - The Man I Want to Be

God I'm down here on my knees
Cause it's the last place left to fall
Beggin' for another chance
If there's any chance at all
That you might still be listenin'
Lovin' and forgivin' guys like me

I've spent my whole life gettin' it all wrong
And I sure could use your help just from now on
I wanna be a good man
A do like I should man
I wanna be the kind of man the mirror likes to see
I wanna be a strong man
And admit that I was wrong man
God I'm askin’ you to come change me
Into the man I wanna be

If there's any way for her and me to make another start
Could you see what you could do
To put some love back in her heart
Cause it gonna to take a miracle
After all I've done to really make her see

That I wanna be a stay man
I wanna be a brave man
I wanna be the kind of man she sees in her dreams
God I wanna be your man
And I wanna be her man
God I only hope she still believes
In the man I wanna be

Well I know this late at night that talk is cheap
But Lord don't give up on me yeah

I wanna be a givin' man
I wanna really start livin' man
God I'm askin’ you to come change me
Into the man I wanna be

LoVe oR No LoVe???

I still love her. but she doesnt. dang! im the worst man ever. well.. im available for now. come and grab me. haha. well i'm still can make some jokes by now. its no one fault. no one to blame... and yeah i like the blame goes onto me. my life kinda messed up. twisted a little bit. im hanged! please restart me. duh~~ frustrated. devastated. unrated!

luckily.... the above statements is all a lie. hahahaha~~~~ well who knows?? just let it be. hey, the world doesnt end here. keep on dude! hope so... and why i keep on falling, crumbling flowing away and away. sway like a kite without the rope. blows away where the wind blows. distant and distant. till i cant see u anymore. damn!

what else dot dot dot its pain. its hurt so damn gud. is this love. nah.. its no love. its sumthin else.. dunno how to describe. dunno how to tell. dunno how to say... just feel it and u will know. ah-ha its all lie. i love to tell lie. im the liar. but why i cant sleep. always thinking of her. no its not. i dont wanna think of her but its keeping haunting me. always come to my vision. screaming to my head. and whispering to my ears.. and i cant pull it off. cant shut it off. cant turn it off. oh damn. just let me sleep! and then its over. peace in my mind. no more sweet dream. just sleep in silent. even my eyes full of tears.

our story end here. thanks for being a part of me. thanks for make my days. thanks for everything. thanks for your love. thanks and thank you. may be im not gud enough for you. may be.

p/s: i dunno why i write such a scary story tonite.. is it scary? hahaha.. yeah to me. weii geli lah.