Megadeth - No More Mr. Nice Guy

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Til they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin' shot down
And I'm feeling mean

No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene

My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
My mom's been thrown out of the society circle
My dad's had to hide
I went to **** incognito
And everybody rose, the reverend Smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose

No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene

GoOdByE mR. N!Ce GuY!!!

I'm totally sick of being nice... im pissed of ok!! why not?? in 24 hrs... 3 person come to me, one after another just to throw some shit onto me... whats wrong with u peoples???? is there anything else you can do other than picking onto me.. huh??? tell me why? do i did sumthin wrong or do i got in ur way... or bla bla bla... juz tell me u idiot!! u fuckin idiot! if not, juz get ur lazy ass from my face.. u got me or not?

well, mr and mrs perfects or whatever u called ur self (and i dont care), you can do what ever u want to... teasin me, tearin me, hurtin me, judgin me, fuckin me and whatever u wanna do.. like i care because that was bullshit and i warned u asshole... ur life will be doomed and u have no more sorry from me... forgiveness is meaningless for people like u as u people like to live in merciless.. no mercy for you people!! regret huh?, may be its too late...
and whatever i do.. its none of your fuckin business... and i had enuff for today...

and thanks to you peoples coz make me realized which one is friend and foe, which one is rite and wrong, which one is bullshit and damnshit...
if u want shit, i can give u shit...
awaken of mr bad guy...

eLLo My BLoG... My BuDdys,,,

Salam... ermm juz drop by to say hello to my blog.. and of coz to my bro and sis.. ermm hows life? hope everything is fine and great... of coz la kan... sebab jan dh x kaco lagi... huhu~~ ermm tetiba plak windu la kat abg besar and akak besar... miahaha~~~ apa la diorang tgh buat skrang ni ye?

well... juz nk cakap nie.. bancik, kak lisa.... kalu ada kelapangan.. datang la umah pastu buat la mcm umah sendiri, dh besar panjang kan.. jgn segan silu plak... tarikhnyer 24 haribulan November tahun ni la, 2007.. hari apa ek, hari sabtu kot.. haa cuti kan.. boleh la tu... harap x terlambat la yer... hikhik.. ade jamuan skit... ada orang nk kawen.. miahaha~~ jangan ketinggalan ye tuk menyaksikan acara "once in a lifetime"... la la la la.. oh.. gumbira nya.. x sabar2 dh nk balik kampung ni... i dont wanna miss a moment... oo plz... eh macam 'kita' plak nk kawen... sory la. terover skit... kepala pening lagi ni... sebab paper tadi kot... hehehe~~

haa.. mana la tau bancik nk naik pelamin skali lagi ker... boleh la.. eh, x tau la plak ada pelamin ke tak... tapi yg penting ada makan2.. for sure punyer... FOC tau.. dun wory.. kak lisa pon kalu nk naik pelamin leh gak... bawak la siap2 the man of the year tu... ekeke~~

well.. i gotta go.. got a things to do.. see ya... ermm jemputan ni jemputan rasmi tau, even no invitation cards... tapi dari hati yg tulus ikhlas.. bukan ajak2 ayam tau...

sebarang pertanyaan boleh la tanya sesapa yg tau...

Hollies - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go

His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there

For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share

And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy he's my brother

He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

HaPpY BiRthDaY tO HaPpY BrOtHeR

What the day is today? today is Thursday.... ekekeke~~ so what so special bout it? ermm..coz i went to times square and lowyat.. then my frenz sponsor me for lunch at hartz chicken buffet... ermm.. not bad jugak la... bedal x beringat punyer... and waste my money for a couple bucks... and got tired... and come back alive.. eh.. that not the story i want to write lor... hehehe.. juz swept away with my bad habit... sowwie..

well.. today is the same day like 26 years ago... someone was borned to this world and carry his parent dream to make his own world... and now the sleeping child child wake up and stand up to face the rough day... then he grown up to be a man.. a real man.. huhu~~ proudly i present to you this child name MOHD HAZIR HJ HARON.. and he is my brother.. miahaha~~

Happy Birthday My Brother...

This day is for you... so make it colourful and tasteful... dream it as you want to... and make ur grand wishes.. and i pray for it to come true.. Insya-Allah...

Wish u happy through this year, days and nites... have a great life... have a nice days... have a sweet dreams.. have a joyful moment... have a safe journey everywhere and anywhere u go...

and thanks for everythings... i really mean it!

urs truly and fakery brother,
JAN

CoLdpLay - tHe HarDeSt PaRt

And the hardest part

Was letting go, not taking part
Was the hardest part

And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet, I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud
Oh and I
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go, not taking part
You really broke my heart

And I tried to sing
But I couldn’t think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
You're a silver lining the clouds
Oh and I
Oh and I
I wonder what it’s all about
I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do, it's just comes undone
And everything is torn apart

Oh and it’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part
Yeah that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part

As* You WiSh...

Somehow it suddenly happened to me... it must be wrong somewhere, but i cant figured it out.. so i juz let it be... may be it was over the limit already... wat to say.. it quite sad, why not? then i juz let her go... never try to stop her... its end! coz that is what she want juz like she wish to..

and im glad to make her last wish come true...

end of story!

NiCe to bE @ hOmE

There is nothing in my mind rite now like the clear blue sky high above... like the calm and deep ocean spread wide through my eyes... except one thing! The land far... far away from me yet stay still in my heart.. my lovely house! truly deeply miss u... the place i've belong to... there is stil alot more to discover bout that place... huhu~~

Btw... not much time left for me to write as i want to... its kind sad but no need to grieve bout that.. i'll be back for sure to share sumthin... well, i wonder why.. what kind of buzzy is this??? hate it! juz wanna my life back.. like those day... not long time ago..

so.. thats it for now... gotta go pack up my bag and take a leave... and i have sumthin for them for this year... all of them! even it is not much, but geezzz~~ it cost me as much as my whole semester spent and ++... its look like im hepy for that..but hell no.. haha~~ i gotta back home asap to deal with them... and take it back as much as it cost me or more than that.. huhu~~ and thats what make me hepy... hikhik~~ and the cruel intension continues.... huahuahua~~

ops.. one more thing, for my dearest bro and sis especially (coz i dont expect anyone else here.. huhu.. tu pun kalu diorang dtg menyinggah la..)

SELAMAT AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN

halalkan makan dan minum... maaf kalau ada terkasar bahasa, maaf seandainya tersasar minda dan logik akal, maaf sekiranya ada tergusar akal fikiran dan maafku bukan sekadar tutur, maafku dari dasar hati yg ikhlas.. maaf seadanya dari insan yg kerdil lagi hina...

~~ JaN~~

p/s: sampaikan salam jan buat keluarga... and take a good care! miss ya... ermm duit raya x der ke abg besar and akak besar??? ekekeke~~~

NiCe tO Be aLiVe...

Thanks Allah... i'm alive...
it's been a week im dying of sickness... what a relief? im really miss 'this and that'... well i think im gonna hang around with this tenet first... a lot of things i wanna do... thee thee... then i wanna write sumthin.. ermmm sumthin is sumthin... about this and that.. hope i can spend a litle time for this.. then online.. may be not at the moment like this.. nobody was in there i guess.. may be tomorrow... huhu~~

eh.. no post was done in september.. it was like a miracle... haha~~ what happened to me... anybody know??

well.. its has been 19 days oready since we fasting... fasting is very fast for sure.. hehe~~ ops.. i gotta take a break now... its almost 7 oclock now... well, for today... only chicken chop for me... syukur alhamdulilah...

burbbbb in advance.. hahaha~~

You'Re ThE LOvE oF mY L!Fe...

Happy Birthday Mum... on this spesel day.. i juz wanna let you know... that i love u so much... truly madly deeply from the bottom of my heart... you're my light through the darkness.. you're my sunshine when there was a rain.. you're my guidance when i lost... you're my angel through these years.. you gave me hope when i fall apart... you're my everything... there are no word can describe how spesel you're... and i thanks to Allah because gave me such a great mum like you...

Ya Allah... yang maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang... ku mohon padaMu agar diberkati segala pengobanan ibuku... Kau kasihanilah dia sebagaimana kau mengasihani hamba2 Mu yang solehah... kau ampunilah dosa2 ibuku... Kau berilah petunjuk hidayahMu kepadanya... agar terhindar dari segala kekusutan... aku memohon kepadaMu ya Allah, kurniakanlah dia nikmat kesihatan yg berpanjangan, kesenangan dalam melakukan tugas dan hindarilah dia dari kecelakaan.... Amin ya rabbal a'lamin..

Ikhlas tapi jauh,
Anakmu...


Spice Girls - Mama


Haddad Alwi & Sulis - Ummi


Rabbani - Ibu Mithali


Hazinul Abada (Bonda)


Aeman - Buatmu Ibu

aNd tHe Ra!N kEpt FaLL!nG...

Here im again tonite… my eyes doesn’t wanna close at all… its still fresh like a full moon in the sky high above… calmly gazing to earth... shining through the dark nite.. like a glue stick in these eyes... with my head moving and spinning around and around… tried to figure out what exactly happened last night… then, here I am in this blog… juz to get rid of this uneasy feeling… i feel so terrible at the moment... feel so sorry to myself for what i've done... i was the bad guy after all... nothing is true about me...

Today… I juz felt so lucky… after a few weeks, I can walk normally… no more pain in my leg… i feel so alive… yet inside still unknown... may be it wont function well.. or may be damage... how do i know... i juz don wanna know... and outside, the rain kept failing… there was a stormy day for me… and the sky turned to dark out of nowhere.. until I lost my sight… lost my voice... lost my way… I lost... felt like im lost my both leg rite now...

i dunno how to start this... i dont have any strength to write all of this... im so shame for the thing i've said and done... i lost my smiley face since that... it's gone... i cant smile... i cant laugh... i cant live with this anymore... its hard for me... i wish i can wear a smile again... and put on my face like others... i juz wanna live like others... do i deserved it?

but i know for sure.. i can change nothing.. i cant made up someone mind to love me.. to appreciate me... to care of me... and i never want that anyway... and im not begging for that... and how ridiculous when someone asked me to erase the thing i cant... even i did.. how can i erase it from my mind? its like someone asked me to erase my memories... the one i treasure most... the thing that light up my life... tell me, how im supposed to do? why did you begging for the impossible thing... please, never, ever begging for unreal thing... and now i want begging you... not to say sorry or an apologize, because im know, i dont deserve it.. i juz wanna you take back your word... its hurting me... and i'm the one who need to apologize.. and im sorry... rite from the start... i have thrown away my pride.. my ego, i put it under my feet.. i buried it long time ago when this bond was tied... my satisfaction, i killed it coz im afraid it'll get in our way... and at that moment, im the happiest person.. like this world belong to me... and that is what i want let you know... because i cant stop from thinking... and i cant stop you from say goodbye... once you said.. please dont turn back... coz you'll see im terribly crying for sure...

the rain kept falling... like understood what exactly i felt inside... and washed up my tears... thats why nobody can see it... and i will never let anyone see it... the pain, juz let me bear it... when i think again... i should choose the lonely path... because it was the best path for me... its hard to believe... in my life, people come and go... and now... i never wonder if that will happen again... juz its so sad to have it again and again... how cruel this world to treat me like this... and i juz wanna know... whats wrong with me 'till everyone goes against me?

but i wonder... can i have that smile face once again... i love to have those day again and again... and i miss it so much...

well it was 4 in the morning... it was pitch dark in my room... it was cooled and calmed here.. till i can hear every ticking of the clock... and its going late...so i need to force myself goes to sleep... i get a thing to do this morning... so, i juz need to rest...

mY L!Fe iS mY sEcReT...

Salam everyone... ermmm juz nothing... but feels like wanna update this blog, even i have no idea what im gonna write here... really no idea... my head is so stuck.. so dumb!!! so here i am to foolish around with a bullshit blabbering and murmuring... like im the one in this world whos trouble so much... but that is what i feel rite now.. like the world against me... can i stand alone???

day by day... hours by hours... even every minutes that passed by... my head full with the questioning.... and the problem is.. there is no answer... no solution.... how do i wanna get through all this my juz myself alone... am i prepared? never thought my life is so much trouble... and its juz a begining... what a troublesome... can i survive alone???

but for now... i am thankful as i am still have this life, i breath... i lived to the fullest... and thats what make me still stand until now... juz ignored that kind of thing... and i'll be happy, even not for long... im still hepi... i feel it.. yet im alone...

"nobody like you...everyone left you... they're all out without you... having fun.."

i love to be alone.. alone in my way... alone in this life... because its my life.. and its my precious.. and the topmost, its my secret... so i can keep it save with juz me alone... im too afraid to let it broken apart...

there is no one can understand yourself better than you are... everyone just pretend the one... and pretend to care.. but the reality is too savage to reveal... is that true???

the rain juz keep failing inside and outside... better stop now and juz let the memories rest...

rest in pain...

Fly... Lieyssa Fly!

Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih Lagi Maha Penyayang... Ku mohon padaMu agar selamatkanlah perjalanan nya.. permudahkanlah segala urusan nya... dan semoga engkau memberkati serta melindungi nya dari apa jua bala bencana... Amin.

yosh... i hope everything will be fine... even kak lisa pergi tanpa pesan berita... i'm still hepi because she is... and may be that's the best way to say goodbye... kerana perginya akan kembali... so nothing to worry about... huhu~~ ermm... juz take care okay.. have a safe and nice journey... itterasshai~~



I say, Feel your breeze, Anytime Anywhere in my heart
Feel your breeze Never stop walking now oh~

kesenai kizu o mata fuyashiteku
nanka kaze ga shimiteyuku
hitori idaeteru fuan nara
ima dare ni mo aru hazu...
(The number of wounds that won't vanish are increasing
It's like the wind is piercing me
Those little worries you keep to yourself
I'm sure everyone has some now...)

kitto yoru wa nagaku
fukaku shizundeta hou ga
asahi noboru toki wa
sou, kirameku hazu sa
(Of course the night is long
And you sink down deeply
When the sun rises up in the morning
Yes, it'll be gleaming)

itsuka souzou shiteta mirai to ima ga
sukoshi chigatteita tte
yume no tame no namida wa mada kiezu ni hikari tsuzukeru
zutto kokoro wa kimi o miteru
mune ni kizanda kimochi de
towa ni yume o kanjiyou ano natsugumo afureru you ni
(Some day the future you dreamed of and now
Will be a little bit different
The tears shed for dreams will keep shining without fading
Your heart will always watch you
With the feelings that tear your heart apart
Feel all of of your dreams eternally overflowing like those summer clouds)

I say, Feel your breeze, Anytime Anywhere in my heart
Feel your breeze Never stop walking now oh~

dekinai koto wa nanni mo nai to
sou omotteiru kedo
umaku konasenai nichijou ni
sugu bokura wa tomadou
(There's nothing that we can't do
That's what we think but
It's hard to swallow in everyday life
And it quickly confuses us)

kitto yume wa tooku
sora ni kasundeku you de
dakedo kaze wa omoi
sotto noseteyuku kara
(Of course the dream is far off
And the sky grows hazy
But the wind softly
Carries our feelings)

itsuka souzou shiteta mirai ni bokura
chanto chikazukeru you ni
kaze ni itsumo fukarete ima koko kara aruiteikou
zutto kokoro wa kimi o miteru
mune de musunda kimochi de
towa ni kimi o kanjiyou kono kisetsu ga afureru you ni
(Some day in the future you dreamed of we will
Become closer like we should
Always blown around by the wind let's walk from here on
Your heart will always watch you
With the feelings that tear your heart apart
Feel all of your dreams eternally overflowing like the seasons)

itsuka souzou shiteta mirai to ima ga
sukoshi chigatteita tte
yume no tame no namida wa mada kiezu ni hikari tsuzukeru
zutto kokoro wa kimi o miteru
mune ni kizanda kimochi de
towa ni yume o kanjiyou ano natsugumo afureru you ni
(Some day the future you dreamed of and now
Will be a little bit different
The tears shed for dreams will keep shining without fading
Your heart will always watch you
With the feelings that tear your heart apart
Feel all of of your dreams eternally overflowing like those summer clouds)

I say, Feel your breeze, Anytime Anywhere in my heart
Feel your breeze Never stop walking now oh~

HaPpY b!RtHdaY... MiFz@L...

What a big day is today? afterall, the time has come... i've been waiting for all this time just to wish u a HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my lovely... mu cutest... my smartest... little bro, MUHAMMAD MIFZAL AMYREEN... huhuhu~~ i miss him alots and alots... how he is doing right now? what he doing right now? did his daddys punished him for what he done? did his mummys scolded him now and than? huhu~~ what a pity Mijal... but, may be thats was the best thing to let u know... everyone love you... even not today, hope you will someday... i wish i was there by this time and i juz wanna spend this precious day to play with u... to be there with u.. if i could... well, i know my hope was too much and i know i cant even reach to that place... BUT.. i still have my last hope... in my dream!!! kui3...

btw... abg cik and kak zue... please give my kisses to mijal tau... kiss yg bertalu-talu pon tak pa... sampai lebam gitu.. wahahaha~~~ he's grown up now... today, he is 2 years old... i wish i can look at that innocent face at this moment... pampers him to sleep... be by his side on his besday.... sadly, i cant... not in a million years...

ku tatap gambar wajahmu..
sinar mata itu...
lirik senyumanmu...
pesona yg membelai...

0Ne LeG K!ckiNg...

Salam… its August already… felt like just yesterday I came back to this green campus… well, this is the month that I should feel proud of you, Malaysia… but not to me… I juz started my job yesterday as a macai yang terindah.. neither terhormat like mr hazir nor ladyboss like miss salisa… both of them was a great person to me… I’m salute them to be honest to me for all this time… but, lately both of them too busy with all that kind of thing that we called a job… I can’t say that I understand their situation, but I’m tried to be the one who understandable person… I’m not sad being ‘forgotten’ by someone… because that’s life… people come and go in your life… there is no such fair thing in this world… I guess… may be with this job I hope I will understand much better what kind of situation was that… and it is the second day already… everything so far so good… hope it will last ‘til the end… amin..

But the thing wasn’t going to smooth lately, suddenly my old disease came bite me at the moment I don’t need it… it’s hard with one leg to walk… even to stand… I can barely move… my right leg wasn’t work well… I don’t know what the problem actually… last year I saw the doc and she said it was a gout symptom… I don’t know what it was… and I don’t wanna know what it is all about… she said I can’t take much seafood… and bla bla bla… and she asked me to come again to check up more about that but I just ignored it… hell no I come again… but the advice, I took it as for my own good… so no seafood… and for more than half year… no seafood for me… may be juz a little bit.. and when I thought the disease was totally gone… like merdeka! merdeka! merdeka! moreover, I juz miss so much the taste of seafood… I ate it as I wanted to… well, we live once… so juz enjoy it whenever you can… and I did it… I feel it… thank to Allah… but then, it ended up with this uneasy condition… what I can say…

anyways.. my pc juz recover from the unknown disease... so pity of her... well it cost much more than i do... jezz... hope that was the last.. i juz repaired it last semester... and now again... may be she grumbling, to show that i didnt take care of her for last one month++... please dont cried my dear... huhu~~

oh yup.. last night, yoe juz asked me to go to mines shoppin fair.. i guess he want to buy something... im juz followed him without any doubt even im not in gud condition... its ok for me... but then, he just walked in to cinema... and bought the tickets.. while im still to figured out what was happened actually... its wednesday.. so only rm6 for each.. quite cheap la kot! we watched the harry potter and the order of the phoenix... ermm well.. juz to memorize back... the last i stepped in the cinema was last march, 25th, i thought... i watched mr bean the movie with sis lisa at KLCC... so about more than 3 months... quite long time la kot... ermmm that it is la kot... dh x der idea dah nk membebel sesorang.... so good morning.. time to sleep...

Thought of the month:-
so what is the merdeka to me... i guess im still searching for that answer... and am i merdeka? merdeka from what?

wHaT i'M GoNna Do?

So scary! I’m scared… you know what? Gosh… so embarrassing… hope that wasn’t true at all… I juz knew it and bcoz of that, I’ll be most worry-est person that ever lived in this world… last Friday, I juz ask my brother to cut my hair… well, it since more than a month I didn’t cut it… its quite long and I looked totally messed up with that cutting… like unmanaged people I’d became… then suddenly my bro make a very cruel, unbelieveable statements that never comes out in my head… “I think you have a potential to have no hair at the top of your head in the next 5 yrs… like a famous actor, zibo or someone else”, it means I’ll be bold in no time! Its that true??? Im barely to fall out… yup, im totally scared.. many times I asked him juz to make sure and to confirm is that the rite thing I heard or it is juz my stupid imagination… but, hell no.. it is true.. “You lose pretty much hair, do you?” he asked again and again... yup I guess so… but I let it unanswered. May be I think too much... but what am i thinking? That is what I cant answer myself… im a weirdo i guess… or do I have some kind of disease… ops.. don’t wanna talk about that…

Erm… well… may be that it the only thing that comes out in my head now and then… and I cant think anything else… ooo yup, I juz got the message late at nite or may be early in the morning last two days ago from bancik while i'm still watching tv, after he heard some rumors or news and I tot I missed that news... huhu~~ neways, thanks for being so concerned that much… fyi, everyone here included me juz fine… the only thing damaged may be the house behind my house (my dad’s chicken hut.. huhu), lost their roofs.. all of it.. quite crazy and angry the wind that nite I guess.. (what language I used actually?), bcoz of that, i slept early that nite coz i cant watch tv (quite sad...) huhu~~ what a great slept i have... erm... other damages is.. my sis house lost some part of the components of her house.. and my family business was interrupted many day and times… it is a hard time for them I guess… beside that excluded the situation, everything was great… dun worries… and thanks again for that… ooo yup... one more things… sory bout my thing at bancik’s house.. may be its bothering and disgusting to be there for so long… sorry…

LeaN oN mE

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody
to lean on.

Please swallow your pride, if have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna' need
somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother if you need a friend.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.
Call me (if you need a friend)
Call me

p/s: my bro & my sis... i'm always here to share,to listen and to carry on...

aM ! nOboDy?

The situation got harder and harder… and absolutely out of my control… out of my mind… out of my imagination… out of my expectations… and what else? May be out of my life too… hope everything will be fine soon, coz I cant stand with this situation anymore… I juz don’t understand, why it always happen… Why and why? Its kind of bad situation I’d been rite now… and I lost to the situation! Im drowning into bottomless deep dark situations…i dun expect anyone to understand my situations, but i juz need a space for myself...

It was messy here and there… I wish I have a place somewhere to go rite now… far away from here… I cant stay any longer at this place for a moment… what happened to this family actually… geez… so shame to talk about that… but I juz wanna it out of my head… I cant keep it for any much longer… hope I’ll be fined after this… bcoz this is the only way to help me out from this situation rite now… I don’t have anymore choices left I guess... and hope this will help me to have a better sleep, I juz wanna sleep rite now… im so tired… really exhausted… ooo...where is my angel to pampers me all nite long? i wish u here rite by my side...

Ermm… I don’t wanna talk anymore bout that… I juz wanna let it out actually… so, i guess that’s it for now… oo before that, juz a little advice to sis lisa… u better take a gud care of urself… take ur meds… don’t pushed urself too hard.. I know, work is important things.. but ur health is the precious gift… please be kind to urself and I prayed u will get well soon… and hope u’ll find someone to take care of you… and to my big brother...juz dont sell the ps2 yet… u still have me here… of coz I’ll help u… okies… I cant say much, coz I dunno the situation over there… but please, don’t make any foolish steps.. coz u always have a better choices… believe me, ur ps2 is worth more than rm500… it is priceless… u cant buy it from anywhere or changed it with a couple bucks…of coz not! what the hell are u thinking? sowwie~~ i dun mean to be rude...
well, Im not force both of u to listen to what im saying… coz I know im not gud as well… may be worse… And I know, nobody listen to me this whole times… im nobody! but please think twice (may be thousand times..) before u act… think the consequence of ur action… be wise!

sMaLL thINgs... SmaLL taLks for a sMall pEopLe Like ME!

Juz hangin’ with this laptop… but nothing much to explore… of coz la not, this wasn’t mine… ooohhh im miss my pc soo much… a month oready since I left her… is she gonna miss me? Is she will be ok? Of coz la ‘he’ will never take a look at she.. ooo what a pity? Kui3… hope I come back soon and I can play with her everyday and every night then.. huhu~~ of coz a lot of thing to do after this… to do a maintenance, to update, to clean up and sooo on.. damn… im miss her so much..windunyer... pada si dia... jangan pisahkan, aku dan dia.. tuhan tolong la... bla bla bla....

Ermm.. well, this is july oready… I shud finish up my last day of holidays… and the things I scared most appeared at last… come back to upm! The place like a %*^# to me rite now! But I didn’t plan anything yet… even I didn’t buy a ticket yet (nak tunggu orang datang jemput kot..huhu), not register the damned paper yet, not ready at all.... I wish I have a job rite now, whatever la pepon, cleaner pon ok kot! tukang masak ker, babysitter pon best gak… I hope I can extend that paper for the next ten years may be… huhu~~ dah malas giler dh nk amik subjek tu... and the things that un-settle was leave un-solved.. huhu~~ june 2007, not filled with such a gud things at all… I juz threw it like a rubbish… imagine that… 30 days = 720 hours = 43200 minutes = 2592000 seconds.. I juz waste it… what a fool?

Ooo yup, I juz remember that, on 30th june.. huhu~ nothing big event happened pon actually, but its quite funny things to recall back again and again (sebenarnya xder story nk ditulis.. miahaha~~), neways, it was the last day for en hazir worked at private sector firm named CCRNet as a manager… hikhik.. and cik lisa stil demam kot…. agaknya dia nk cipta rekod ke apa! rekod demam paling lama… miahaha~~ and I at home… at kitchen, my favourite place I guess, beside my bed (actually I dun have any in this house…kui3, where the place I slept, there is my bed…hehe), well, I guess im bored tahap cipan… dah la sekolah ari tu, gile ke apa diorang nie, ari sabtu pon nk pi skoll… huhu.. ganti cuti raya konon… well forget it!... then open sesame… huhu~~ terbukak la tudung saji kat dapur tu… ermm.. penuh dengan lauk pauk masakan my lovely mummy.. mama mia.. I juz picked up and took out the ikan panggang and ikan goreng…. And air asam.. huhu~~ apa lagi, acara meratah ikan pon bermula… huhu~~ 3 ekor abis diratah dalam sekelip mata.. sampai menjilat jari dibuatnya... but not finished yet, i juz curious to taste the fish eyeballs... miahaha~~ sapa la ajar si jan ni makan mata ikan… kalu makan fishball ke, fishcake x pe la jugak.. well, i cant stop my eager at that moment.. dengan kejamnya, mata ikan dikeluarkan dari lopak matanya... huhu~~ sib baik x kuar darah.. hehehe~~ pastu dengan lahapnya disumbat dalam mulut ku.. kui3.. what a surprise... hampir kesemua mata ikan yang ada telah dikeluarkan…. Entah mana menghilang mata ikan pada ari itu masih menjadi misteri… miahaha~~~ tiada siapa yg tahu... a new history was created in my life! Ekekeke~~ one more things, I juz miss the taste of budu… so yummy…bancik, kak zue, kak lisa, mijal... xmo rasa budu ker? kalu nk, nanti jan bawak as souvenirs.. miahaha~~ nk ke tak? baik ckp copet sementara stok masih ada... best bangat... masuk tido pon leh bau lagi budu kat tangan nie... hehehe~~

I guess I need to stop here, nk main sudoku la plak, sejak bila la si jan ni reti main menda alah nie, tapi, yang ari t upon, x setle2 pon lagi.. nk harapkan abgku yg sorang tu.. erm.. apa nak buat, orang xmo tolong… x pe la… nk wat cam ne… begini la nasib ko jan… lantak la ko jan (he said that...) tapi rasanyer, bila dh setle that sudoku, I tot that was the last kot I play sudoku… pening kepala dibuatnya… well, I juz need to finish the last one! One more to go...

ooo ye.. sebelum terlupa.. bancik2.. bila nk blanje jan pi tgk transformers nie... kui3... cam best la plak... tapi kalu x mo blanje pon x pe gak, tapi kena bekerja la skit (bancik pon kan nyer ada keje lain wat masa ni kan...hehe), pi donlot! miahaha~~ copet skit ye... nanti jan pi sana, make sure semuanya dh siap... ermm.. lagi jan nak tgk spiderman 3, ocean 13's, pirates of the carribean 3, pastu apa lagi ek... citer yg best2 la.. xmo citer seram.. miahaha~~ adeh harap2 hajatku ini kesampaian la ye dan ada yg sudi mendengo nyer... hikhik~~ (i dun want answer like lantak la ko jan or such a things.. huhu)..please..

iM SwEpt aWay...

Juz one or two words from me before I log out from this damned connection so called tenet yg lembab nk mampuih… (alangkah sonoknye kalu dok di sana, leh main tenet lelaju… leh donlot bebyk… haih…. jelesnye ngan orang tu. huhu~~)

Ermm actually what will gonna happen to me for the next few days, maybe weeks or may be months…It juz came to my head spontaneously… jeez… my head can figure out nothing and anything… may be im the only person in this world that has nothing to do with my life… what a waste? Even I regretted about the past and the present, im still cant make a move… dun no which path shud I take… I thought im lost in the middle of nowhere… no place for me to go… may be im juz wait for dying… or I am the walking dead man like a zombie… i guess... kui3… and bla bla bla… wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Ooo gosh… I’m dreaming again and again.. huhu~~ my frenz.. Please wake me up when I lost… and thanks for that…

Okies… its time for me to rest… but not sleep yet! Huhu~~

duN SwitCh Off ThE LiGhT!

Such a fool! Like an idiot… I’d been lately… may be worst than that, may be no words can tell the exact what I am rite now! Juz dunno how to explain myself… even I don’t understand myself and that was he hardest part.. I guess. Very very bad, huh? Kui kui kui… itu lah introduction untuk kali nie… nk start melalut la tu…

Bebenornya, x leh nk lelapkan mata nie… since when? Not sure la… tapi, bila nk masuk tido tido jer… my head start to think and spinning around… itu yg problem tu… langsung tak best… kalu pikir menda yg elok tu tak pe la.. ini idak.. asyik pk yg bukan2 jer… haru dibuatnyer… its hurting me so bad… sumtimes.. ermm most of the nite kot, its made me cried from inside and outside, even I dun want to… entah la, apa nk jadi la ngan ko ni jan… satu menda pon x pernah settle… minta2 lepas melalut kat blog ni, made me feel much better… I wish there is sumone to bear.. really need sumone… yup, I need a shoulder to cry on… but too shame to do all this… and its make me look so damn! What a poor guy? so weak! May be I am… im not strong enuff to face this alone…and im really tired from all of this.. im still regret about the past… if I could turn back the time... well, im juz hoping sumthin that imposible… im totally sick! Or may be juz forget about it! If I could….

Aduii… sowwie… ter emo la plak… huhu~~ ala, jan ni mmg cam tu.. tapi x der la sampai terbawa2 cam orang tu... kui3... erm... x tau nk wat pe pepagi cam nie… senyap sunyi je umah nie… cam seram je umah nie… tapi memang seram pon… jan sendiri pon seram2 sejuk je dok sesorang kt ruang tamu ni... huhu~~ nk tgk tv astro tu.. rasenyer dh khatam semua movie yg ditayang tu.. nk wat sudoku tu, cam dh fed up la plak.. satu ari buat.. still x dpt, may be… my head so stuck rite now… memang mencabar otakku yg sememang berkarat nie… then akak plak suruh buat teka silang kata CIMB bank yg dalam utusan tu, lagi la pening dibuatnyer… well juz put that thing beside for awhile… si jan nie… bila nk masuk tido ntah… esok mula la x beringat dia tido.. huhu~~ kalu dulu, ada jugak bos besar tolong kejutkan... hehehe~~ bukan jan x mo tido, tapi cam fobia je nk masuk tido... baring je… mula nk dok pikir itu ini… truly madly deeply hate it! Semua benda dh cuba buat… tapi still not working… may be kena amik ubat tido kot… kalu lah ada.. dh lama si jan ni telan kot!

Ermm… neways, really miss my lovely ones… dh lame x dengo kabor beghito… dengo2 jer… yg tu sakit hati la… yg sorang lagi demam la… ermm entah la jan, nk ckp kan.. org kata jan ni penyibuk la.. kecoh la.. itu la ini la… biar la.. diorang dh besor panjang pon.. jan ni aje yg kecik2... x besor2 pon... huhu~~ errmmm.. bila la agaknya jan ni nk berdikari ye... langsung x reti nk jaga diri... awak tu lelaki.. pergh, terngiang2 lagi ayat tu kat telinga ku ini... ops... tersasul lak... ni yang x best nie.. semua menda dia dok mai kt kepala otak nie...huhu~~
erm... benornye baru je tadi online kejap ngan bancik n kakzue and mijal too… huhu~~ tetiba je suruh jan online.. ingatkan ada apa.. suspen gak… last2, apepon x ckp… hampeh tol… erm.. kalu nk suruh jan online esok kol 10 pagi, rajin2 la kejutkan jan.. kui3... kak lisa lak, totally out of reach... mungkin dia berada diluar kawasan liputan kot! langsung x dapat dihubungi.. miahaha~~ pepon, jan doakan semuanya senantiasa hepi and ceria... oh ye, tadi yoe ada col dari konti radio putra fm, cam seronok je dia... mcm2 nk cerita kat aku ni yg tgh biol ni.. layan je la...

So itu jela kot... dh lenguh nie, dgn pinggang sakit, bahu lenguh2.. pi berkebun katakan... anak ayah la konon2 nyer... pergh... satu badan ni sengal dibuatnyer... padan muka ngan badan nie.. rasakan.. biar terbakar lelemak ku ini.. bancik, seluar bancik kasi tu dh jadi ketat la plak sejak dok kt umah nie.. kui3.. cepat betul body ni naik.... cam ada penaik roti je dlm badan ni... ni yg hangin bila dok umah nie... huhuhu~~~

wHeRe iS My SuNshiNe?

Salam... ermm nothing much change since a month ago... feel so down lately... my life so dull... so gloomy... i dunno how to paint it.. and wat colour i shud used... and how to make it colourful... bright.. shine again... may be, my life never shining like others.. adeh.. dh melalut la plak... bebenornye baru je lepas chattin ngan bancik nie.. dh lama x berchattin nie... cam rindu la plak... huhu~~ semua org cam bz, kalu online pon, x der sapa nk layannyer... baik layan perasaan sendiri.. kui3...kak lisa pon cam bz je lately langsung x der khabar berita after her short visit to terengganu, may be she still mad at me, erm.. well it my fault, i took it... tapi, kalu nk chattin tu leh je bebenornya, may be im the one who try to hide or run.. i guess so...


oohh yup.. firstly.. congrats to my bro, en hazir... kerana dinaikkan pangkat dari pekerja swasta ke pekerja kerajaan di bahagian kementerian sumber manusia.. huhu~~ apapon jan doakan yg terbaik buat bancik.. jadi la insan yg berguna buat keluarga dan negara, nusa dan bangsa... jangan mudah lupa diri... jgn cepat tensen2... jgn cepat marah2.. jgn cepat majuk2... ops...huhu~~ cam berceramah la plak.. semoga cepat naik pangkat dan jadi bos besar... nanti bila dh senang, jgn la lupa kt jan plak... amik la jan jadi 'prebet' lak... miahaha~~ sapa la nk maik jan nie ye, jaga diri sendiri pon x reti lagi... huhu~~

erm... hope everyone hepi la ye.. coz im so hepi for you...termasuk la kak zue... kak zue, are u hepi? hope so... huhu~~ selebeynyer terpulang la pada bancik utk handle semuanyer.. kui3... i'll always support u from behind...

kalu diikutkan hati ni, teringin sesgt nk jupe ngan mijal nie.. rindu la.. tapi, kalu jan pi sana pon, buat tambah beban je, lagipon bukan jan leh tolong apa pon... its better for me to stay here... even im bored to death rite now... juz do the same routine that i hate... makan, tido, tgk tv... kalu rajin pi kilang kopok.. bukan tolong wat pepon.. juz looking around... huhu~~ well, i got another one year to finish my study... im totally out of my mind rite now... may be im crazy... hope no one knew me before...

ermm bancik lak... mak, ayah, akak, abang dh ajak berpuluh2 kali mai umah nie... huhu~~ meh le jenjalan sini.. cuti2 malaysia... (jan ni x phm2 ker... saje je buat tak paham situasi bancik tu) huhuhu~~ tapi kalu ajak kak lisa, mesti dh serik nk dtg sini.. hehehe~~ mesti cecepat dia tolaknyer...
kata nk belaja wat kopok, meh ler.. nanti balik kedah leh la bukak bisnes kopok... macam kawan ayah kat penang tu... dia pon dulu dtg belaja wat kopok kat sini jugak... sekarang dia dh maju tau.. huhu~~ saje je pomot nie...

well, im better off now... tenet ni dh la limited, lembab nk mampus lak tu.. huhu~~ okies everyone... see ya.. and miss you all...

Sh0uLd i LaUGh? oR sHOuLd ! cRy?

Juz for sharing and nothing much to write as im juz wasting my time rite here, rite now… I shud go to bed already i guess but i had enuff slept this morning.. huhu.. wat a lazy bum? How shud I start? Ermmm… well, i juz recall one of the story tat my frenz share with me not long time ago… huhu~~ I hope he didn’t mad at me coz of this… cam ada orang lain baca selain bancik n kak lisa.. tu pon kalu diorang x busy.. huhu~~

Adeh.. cam ne nk citer nie.. cam susah la plak.. ye la.. topik pon cam boring jer.. of coz la its about luv.. plus, i’ve never been in love before.. no experience no gain… huhu~~ but, i love to hear bout that… macam2 story dh dengo… kekadang, boleh buat tersengih sesorang bila tingat semua tu.... hehe~~ kalu kisah cinta bancik tu… juz copy and paste je kot kt sini.. kui3… ada lagi dalam simpanan jan… tapi x full story la… lagipon jan baru je dengo dari mulut bancik.. dari mulut kak zue lom lagi.. huhu~~ ni kena dengo nie.. x leh jadi nie, kalu x, not fair la kan... kalu kak lisa lak... ermmm ada la skit2 kot... tapi boleh je kalu nk suruh jan bukak story tu... then, sapa lagi ek... ramai la.. huhu~~ cik sugus itam yg jatuh cinta dgn datuk A, B and C, miahaha~~ Si iza yg ada scandal dgn si H tu, muahaha~~ si ana yg fall in luv with ’sumbody’ and ’sumone’ tu, kuikuikui... si N yg menjejaki kekasihnya selama bertahun2... , si Z yang masih mengharap pada cinta pertamanya walau berkali2 dilukai... hikhikhik... my x-roomates yg casanova..... adeh.. pening2…

Adui.. susahnyer nk tulis... cam ni lah.. budak laki ni not sure he fall in luv or not… nk kata mengharap sesgt for tat gal tu idak la kot… ye la, cam nk kata hidung mancung tu x jugak, nk kata pipi tu ada lesung pipit tu.. lagi la x der… tapi boleh la tahan.. he quite shy guy.. malu bertempat la kot… ponpuan tu lak katanya, x de la lawa sgt, tapi bila hati dh berkenan.. semuanya jadi indah bila dipandang.. x ker gitu? kih3~~ wat i wandering is..
he still keep the promised that he made for last 10 years ago… and may be until today kot! he will never find another gal… waiting for tat gal… even dlm masa tu ada la jugak ponpuan lain menaruh hati padanya… but the gal status yet unknown… mungkin sudah berpunya atau mungkin belum…huhu~~
well, both of them wanna to concentrate on their study at first, and after 10 years (maknanya, tahun ni la result dia kuar… kwang3~~)… jika ditakdirkan mereka akan bertemu dan mengikat kembali kasih yang terjalin… kalu idak, bermakna berakhir sudah kisah mereka sepuluh tahun yang lepas… itu lah pesanan ponpuan tu kat dia.. and dlm masa tu, don’t ever. Never try to find or make a contact… that is wat tat gal said to him… even he afraid, if she broke the promise… plus, he knew that, ada laki lain cuba memikat tat gal… fuh.. kira2, cam tu la kot kisah diorang nie…
kalu jan la.. sanggup ke cam tu? Kui3~~
but, as I said, that guy tak de la mengharap… he will be fined and ready for any possibilities that might happen... and the important thing is, he stil keep his love with him, even not 100%.. may be 90%... huhu~~ so, after this he stil can fall in luv.. and free from any agreements… cam tu la kot… ermm kesian pon ada… tapi rasa mcm bengong pon ada gak.. sory la.. bukan nk mengata atau mengutuk... tapi.. ermm biar laaa…. Tu la, nabi pon pernah bersabda, jgn kamu suka menabur kata-kata manis (suka berjanji) sekiranya kamu tidak mampu menunaikannya, kerana hanya mereka yg bermulut celupar sahaja yg suka berbuat demikian… cam tu la kot lebey kurang.. kalu sesapa tau.. perbetulkan la ye…
Ermm itu aje la kot… cam x best lak citer nie… bukan apa, pengarang ni yg x reti nk mengulas kot.. kui3... sory la ye...

Anyone of Us (Stupid Mistake)

I've been letting you down, down
Girl I know I've been such a fool
Giving in to temptation
When I should've played it cool
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand

[Chorus]
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, anyone you think of
Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt someone they love
Hearts will break
'Cause I made a stupid mistake
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, say you will forgive me
Anyone can fail
Say you will believe me
I can't take my heart will break
'Cause I made a stupid mistake
A stupid mistake

She was kind of exciting
A little crazy I should've known
She must have altered my senses
'Cause I offered to walk her home
The situation got out of hand
I hope you understand

[Chorus]

A stupid mistake
she means nothing to me
(nothing to me)
I swear every word is true
don't wanna lose you

Juz HopiNg... waSn't EnuF!!!

Again and again... the same thing happened! and i juz dont realize... i feel so shame of myself... i'd broken someone heart into pieces.. frustrated... and its all bcoz of me! i make a silly mistake once again...never tot it happened in the nick of time... wrong time wrong place wrong situation..all the blame goes onto me... only me!

im totally lost... i lost to the situation that i'd been.. and never get thru of it... im stuck in there... tried to reach out.. tried to help myself... but i cant.. and then, i try to recall for someone and searching for help... but then, im drowning bcoz.. bla bla bla bla... kui3..
ntah apa la jan mengarut di pagi buta nie ye...huhu~~ juz forget it lah.. citer dh lapuk... bukan ada apapun... but juz for reminder buat jan...

in real life... real story.. real people... real world...thats so-called reality... when u hoping so much and you failed to reach for it... u'll feel so down at the end and the worst... ur alone, by urself to keep on livin... Alone in the dark! like the sun never shine for you... like the moon never bright for you... like the star never twink for you..like the day never appear for you... like no one gonna be by yourside til the end..juz alone!

u've grown by now! why dont u handle everything by urself! wake up my dear frenz...
forget me and forget everything... be the one like before! who r u? u r not one of us? u r not my family... u r no one for me.. what for???
suddenlly, theres a tears dropped from my eyes... im hurtin from inside... truly and deeply hurt!

dowh~~ i cant continue this nonsense.. what im thinking actually... huhu~~ may be i dropped down by this f*ck emotion and s*ck situation... ekekeke~~

neway.. citer kt atas tu x der kena mengena ngan sesapa kot.. like i said before juz for reminder... hope im nope hoping so much.. berharap lagi.. huhu~~

btw, Hepi anniversary to my lovely bro and sis... bancik and kak zue... semoga ikatan
yang terbina akan terus berkekalan dan diberkati olehNya... jan doakan semoga bancik dan kak zue serta famili senantiasa berada dlm lindunganNya... semoga kemesraan yang bertaut terus utuh dan kukuh x lapuk walau ditelan zaman... biarpun musim berlalu, hari berganti, namun.. cinta yg disemai terus bersemi hingga ke akhirnya...
eh bancik dpt adiah apa ek? x kasi tau kat jan pon.. dh tu senyum sesorang... hampeh tol.. abis tu bancik kasi apa je dekat kak zue.. huhu~~ sebuk je jan ni ye... hehe~~

and for kak lisa.. pak lah dh nk kawen pn.. kak lisa bila lagi.. kui3... tu la, ari tu pak lah offer buat2 jual mahal.. miahaha... ops.. jgn bersedey ye... cuba lagi taun depan.. mana tau kot2 pak lah nak cari no 2,3 or 4 ker... huhu~~ cam nk kena banned je blog ni..

and for me... keep on livin... whenever its up and down... even u r alone... even u r thrown away... even u r forgotten by everyone... juz believe in yourself!

tOo maNy t0 ReGreT...

Salam pembuka bicara...

Today is juz another sunny sunday (27th may) in my life... everything seems calm outside, but inside who knows... but i'm hepi as long as everyone beside me hepi... or may be happier... thats is the things i always try to keep on my mind... hope so.

juz in a few weeks, a lots of things happened, a few things solved and a thousand things juz gone and washed by... everything that happen for a reason... and i juz dun no why... sumtimes, i tried to figure it out... yet it still unknown... wat i can do is.. always try to look on the bright side and hope everything will be fined... not sooner may be later... thats life, full of hope...

Life... sumtimes, it can be easy and hard... depend on how we handle it... and my life, juz another story; different ways and the same thing with a few chapters and plots...
and today, after a long time i've been waiting for someone to talk and to share... suddenly come out and gave me a hope that i lost it a long time ago... even its not much, but it is more than what i hope... thanks coz being so sincere even it hurts... i will try to admit it even its bitter to swallow... and it is more painful than wat i tot.. that is the reality.. not so sweet as fantasy... that i always dreams of..
this whole time, i'm too afraid to face this life... and even now... afraid of sumthin that unreal.. afraid to lose... afraid to try... afraid to change... afraid of this world that i'd been living... and too many to write it down... and it makes me weak and weaker... not even get better... so shame huh?

life.. is full with questions.. but too few answers and choices... and bcoz of that, we need to explore... to experience... to expose.. to excite... and so on... and for me.. there is nothing much i did... from the start i did a mistake.. and the worst.. never learned from the mistake... even im afraid to face it alone.. im the one who always love to rely on.. to depend.. and try to blame on the others.. im such a coward.. i dun know when will i learned my lessons.. and until when my life will be like this... will it be forever?

and one of the question is... do i hav the plan in my life? wat is my target for the next 5 or 10 yrs? and sadly... the answer is none! so, what is the meaning i live in this world? i can say.. nothing... and until tonite, im stil lying here on my own to search the answer...

dOn't eXpEct t0o MuCh...

Previously on blog... ermm.. baca je la kat bawah tu... ni lak sambungannyer...huhu~~
so nothing much happened since then...tapi dalam hati.. sapa tau, sendiri punya hati.. sendiri jaga la kan... sendiri mau ingat...

oo ye.. sebelum tu.. semalam baru je tengok jangan pandang belakang bersama bancik, kak zue dan mijal... adeh, lomah jantung den dibuatnyer... bebenornya dh lama x tgk citer hantu nie... nak kata x suka tu x jugak... tapi tu la... kan terbawak2 dalam tido kn... huhu~~ seram gak.. nk tido punya la susah mlm tu... nk jer biar lampu tu terbuka... kui3... penakut sgt ker jan nie? huhu~~ well.. everyone have their own experience bout that... so no comment.. yg x bestnyer, dok tgk2 citer tu, ada lak jembalang lain dok kaco jan ngan kak zue... hampeh tol... mana x terkezut... last2 dia sendiri pon terkezut gak.. huhu.. tu la, kaco org lg... yg paling steady mesti la mijal.. ekeke~~

erm.. sebenarnya dh lupa nie.. what was happened that week (last 2 weeks), may be that weeks is a spooky one.. thats why la i juz forget it.. huhu~~ i dun want the bad things bothering my unstable emo and my disgusting life.. huhu~~ nanti bertambah haru dibuatnyer... so juz forget it la.. thats is better ways to keep on livin... tapi kekadang tu, tingat jgk.. tu yg x best tu.. nasib ko jan... nk buek cam no... terimo je la seadanya...

but on thursday (17th may), ada org ponteng kerjo.. huhu.. sapa lagi bancik la... tak sedap badan la tu.. tu la, suruh makan ubat x mo... tapi sekrang ni, cam dh rajin skit.. bagus la.. huhu~~ so jan dok la kat umah tu ngan bancik and mijal... macam org asing pon ada.. ye la, mana tak nyer... semuanyer membisu tak berkata... i really hate that kind of situation... kalu leh nk je lari jauh2, tp nk lari mana lagi... jan x der sapa dh kat sini nk ngadu, nk menumpang kasih... and bcoz of that, its make me felt much more guilty... that is what i feel inside...and my presence seems like a burden to anyone... tp, mmg ye pon.. huhu~~ jan ada pon... kan nyer leh buat apa pon, suruh pi beli lauk pon x reti, suruh buat tu tak tau... suruh buat ni pn tak tau... buat bancik lagi tensen ada la.. kan nye nk tolong ilangkan sakit penat bancik.. menambah kan beban ada la... i feel so sorry to everyone... lagi satu, jan punya pasal la.. kak zue n mijal pon kena marah skali... imagine if i dont exist at that time... everything shud be fine... adeh... adakah budak jan ni pembawa nasib malang tuk semua org?
pulok.. petang tu, x der letrik plak... panas tu... jan aje yg tau... bancik boleh plak tido kt dlm bilik ngan selamba kodok nyer... huhu.. then, around 5.30... bertolak pi komuter klang.. amik kak zue pulang dari kerja.. pastu terus ke tesco beli barang dapur n mijal skit...

and once again, on friday.. sumthin bad happened, not onto me.. but KAU3969.. huhu.. kesian lak dia.. tak pasal2 cedera jatuh longkang... erm ptg tu ingatkn nk kasi tau la masa chatin tu kt bancik.. tapi biar la dulu.. bancik balik je la baru kasi tau... kan x pasal2 x tentu hala dibuatnyer, ngan keje lagi, ngan masalah lain lagi... lagipon bancik dh janji, dia xmo marah2 lagi dh.. dia ckp dh ok... jan pon dh hepi la bila ckp camtu.. huhu~~ lega skit... tapi bila je sampai.. belum pon sempat nk ckp apa... bancik dh tanya dulu... x tentu hala dibuatnyer... nk citer pon, cam tersekat jer... so, jan biar je la dulu... and the promises was broken bcoz of me... im so upset of myself, i never ever make anyone hepi... i can do nothing... ntah la sampai bila la jan nk cam nie...

but the important things is, hope that i can learn from that mistake.. hope it will never happen again and again... and on saturday (19th may), nothing much change i guest... i woke up and got ready... and kak zue wasnt around.. only bancik and mijal at living room... making their holiday buzy with tidy up the living rom... vacuum the carpet, clean up the 'home theater' set and rearrange the living room... and i juz sit there with nothing to do.. gazing at the atmosphere full of dust, full of questions... what i know, someone will come this evening.. dunno who.. malas jan nk tanya.. biar la.. sat lagi tau la sapa...
ikutkan jadual, pagi tu... bancik sepatutnye pi gotong royong kt taman tu... huhu~~ ntah mcm mana dia gotong royong atas katil tu plak.. kui3... x puas ngan tu... pi kemas stor plak... huhu~~ sebabnyer nk sumbat jannyer brg lak dlm stor tu nanti... hehe~~ and the best thing is... lunch tu, mkn spagheti... kak zue masak... ooo cam ni rupanyer masaknyer spagheti.. kui3...

then, at 2.30 pm... went to upm, to move my things from there to klang... huhu~~ baru diorang terperanjat tgk jannyer brg... penuh satu keta huhu.. ikutkan mmg x muat pon... tu pon nasib baik jan tinggal buat wakaf.. huhu.. and as promised, semuanya jan sponsored that day... doesnt matter pon... lagipon bukan nyer slalu... cuma minyak je kot jan x byr... sapa suruh bancik x berhenti isi minyak.. kui3... ingatkn bancik nk mkn pizza hut... tanya, senyap jer... susah la mcm nie.. last2 mkn satay kajang jer.. ermm best la plak satay perut tu.. kui3.... lagipon bancik ada temujanji ngan org... and ngan mila... kui3.. so dh budget la.. 5.30p.m sampai umah semula...
mlm tu jugak.. ada jiran buat tahlil.. jan yg tak tau menahu nie pon pi la join... menda yg baik kan.. x salah pon.. huhu~~ lepas je abis, bancik terus je balik... sebab x mo terlepas nk tgk konsert final af5... ntah kyusyuk ntah idak la bancik ni baca tahlil.. ekekeke~~ kan main seronok lagi... siap undi mila lagi tu.. miahaha~~ jan layan je la.. asal semua org hepi sudah...

on the same day, kak lisa lak ajak pi join dia kt hotel westin.. huhu~~ dun no wat to say.. lebey baik diam... lagipon jan kena ikut bancik la since jan menumpang umah dia... so harap2 kak lisa paham... keputusan semuanyer di tangan bancik.. hikhik...

monday again (21st may) ermmm... i went to serdang one more time.. but now, i stay at yoe house at balakong... baru je satu hari dok sana.. so mmg x der apa pon.. kosong la umah tu... tp ok jer.. yg x bestnyer, tingkat 5.. huhu~~ penat den menapak.. then on tuesday, sepatutnya kena la present fyp.. but sumthin came out.. out of my expectation lak tu... dh tak tau nk wat pe... last2 col bancik... im really scared that time... mmg x jangka lak jadi cam nie... erm.. biar la, benda yg lepas... malas jan nk pikir... so, on wednesday, i went to faculty, to setle evrything and balik klang... baru la tenang skit...

well.. menda tu pon dh berlalu, dh seminggu pon... im much better rite now... apa yg penting, pengajaran hari semlm jadikanlah pedoman buat hari ini...

adeh x larat dh nk nulih... pening pon ada nie.. nk kena ingat balik.. nk kena tulis lagi... huhu~~ k la.. itu aje la kot buat kali nie... nk pi mandi dulu... huhu~~

FeeLs LikE HoMe

Salam sekali berblog...

tak tau nk tulis apa pon nie.. tapi tangan ni gatal jugak nk menulis... may be dh ngatuk wat pojek kot... apa tak nyer.. buat2 x jadi.. hampeh tol... tak pe.. nanti buat lain.. huhu~~ so, rest la jap sambil menulis blog... menyelam sambil minum air 100 plus... miahaha...

bila terfikir sejenak... rupa2nyer dh hampir sebulan dh dok lepak umah bancik nie.. sejak melarikan diri dari kolej ari tu setelah abis last paper pada 30hb april dan pada pagi 1 mei (Selasa), selepas je selesai solat subuh... terus siapkn diri and got ready apa yg patut (pakaian utk 2 hari je la..) dan naik komuter dlm kol 7 lebey dtg klang... mmg dh tak tahan nk dok kt kolej tu... kalu dulu, aku la org setia kt kolej, org lain cuti.. aku keje kat situ.. sanggup x balik kg... macam opis boy pon ada... buat itu dan ini... segala urusan, serah je kat aku... huhu~~ dulu mmg seronok buat tu semua... tapi x tahan lama... sebabnyer... biarlah rahsia... huhu~~ pepon life must go on...


pepagi tu.. kasi msg kt bancik... tapi senyap la plak.. last2 col la.. dengo suara pon cam ju-on jer.. ngantuk kot... tp seram gak.. cam kesian pon ada.. ye la.. cecuti cam tu kan.. mesti la nk rest pepuas... jan lak pi kaco... sowwie ye... last2 dpt msg, bancik dh sampai pon kt stesen komuter klang... huhu~~ cam x caya jer... awal benor dia bgn, so x yah la jan kena tunggu melalut kat stesen klang tu cam kebiasaannyer... huhu

yg surprisenyer.. malam tu bancik buat bbq... bbq daging ayam, lembu, kerbau dan landak... entah betul ntah idak... huhu~~ that was the 2nd time... (adeh lapor la plak..) terbau-bau je aroma nyer... eh, jan dh lupa la resepi dia bancik.. ari tu x sempat nk salin... huhu~~ nanti kasi balik ye... yg peliknyer, rasenyer bancik still dlm berpantang... dulu kan main ckp nk berpantang selama 3 bln, last2... sebulan pon x sampai... semua dia belasah...apa2 je la bancik, janji hepi..

on 2nd may, pi shoppin kt klang parade... but for me, i spent most of the time layan mijal.. huhu~~ pusing2 satu klang parade tu ngan mijal.. jan yg penat ada la... then mkn2 time and after that bancik pi beli ram 512mb utk laptopnyer.. huhu~~ hepi kan main lagi... but then, sumthin happened.. it was totally out of my mind... kes nyer cuma kecil...
kehilangan botol air masak si mijal... sapa yg salah? sehingga ari ni pon... x terjawab lagi... tapi dlm keta tu, on the way back... pot pet pot pet la... huhu~~ seram sejuk jer dok kt blkg keta tu, cam2 jan dengo... tapi itu la lumrah berumah tangga... yang membawa kebahgiaan... hehe... dan dgn x semena-menanya... jan dipelawa dok situ sampai minggu depan, mmg jan x leh tolak pon... even on 3rd may tu, ikutkn jadual.. ari tu adalah presentation day for fyp... and also besday my lovely sis, kak lisa.. huhu... that mean kena balik ari isnin.. tp, packing baju juz for 2 days jer.. cam no tu?

on the first day, x tau nk wat per actually, mana la jan pernah dok sesorg di rumah.. so jan buat la apa yg patut... buat itu.. buat ini... tapi cam seronok lak wat keje cam nie.. huhu~~
tapi bila nk basuh baju, x reti la plak nk pakai mesin auto ni, terpaksa la tanya bancik... huhu...
on 2nd day tu.. ari jumaat.. huhu... nk pi solat.. x tau mana letaknyer masjid lak.. sekali lagi la nyusahkan bancik... huhu~~ then petang tu, terus la buat apa yg patut... baring2 skit.. guling2...hikhik..

then, on saturday evening, pi peli 3 ekor udang.. nk taruk dlm aquarium... tapi x sampai pon sebulan.. dh jadi arwah pon udang tu.. apa kess pon x pasti... udang mati meninggalkan tanda tanya.. huhu~~ x per la bancik.. pasni kita pi beli ikan plak.. ikan apa bancik nak.. ckp je la, jan belikan... tapi jgn la demand lebey2 lak.. kui3...

on sunday (6th may), nothing much to talk, bancik bgn tido... senyap jer, apa pon x ckp.. ntah apa yg x kena jan pon tak tau... jan pon takut.. jan ada buat salah ker... puas gak pk... tp, cam tak ade jer.. but then, at evening, tetiba mood cam ok lak.. huhu.. bancik ajak pi mancing kat kolam.. that was my first time pi mancing.. tu pon sekadar tgk je la... dulu masa kecik2, ada gak ikut abg pi mancing, tapi pakai joran buluh and pakai ranting kayu je la.. tu pon mancing depan rumah, x pon kat sawah... huhu... yg bestnyer... byk tol habuannyer... 9 ekor ikan keli.. huhu.. best x? tapi, yg bebenornyer.. jan ni kurang skit mkn ikan sungai nie.. huhu... mkn tu mkn.. cuma kekadang jer..
dan dengan x pasal2 lak, jan kena extend lagi satu ari dok kt klang tu.. huhu... alasannya, kena mkn ikan keli tu dulu.. huhu... but for me, it doesnt matter pon... lagi suka pon ada... huhu
so, mlm isnin tu... mkn la ikan keli tu.. best la plak.. x rasa la plak hanyirnyer tu.. huhu~~
on tuesday (8th may), bertolak la jan balik kolej... entah cam no... mcm takut la plak nk balik kolej tu, cam seribu satu masalah dok tunggu kat kolej tu... seriously im scared... nk x nak kena la balik kolej gak... sampai2 je.. tgk bilik bersepah, rumet dh blah pon.. ilang ntah kemana... so kena la packing and pindah bilik lagi.. sib baik yoe dh register awal2 bilik utk aku.. huhu.. thanks yoe.. tapi nk pungah brg punyer la penat... yg herannyer.. semua org dok sibuk cari n tanya.. kemana aku ilang selama seminggu.. huhu... diorang nk buat apa ngan aku pon, aku tak tau.. bila aku ade, x de plak diorang dok cari aku... yg pasti.. aku biar je semua tu tanpa jawapan.. kui3...
dan kejutan lagi buat sekian kalinya, bancik suruh kemas brg cecepat, then kena sampai KJ before 6 pm... balik klang semula.. lepak je sana sambil buat keje tu... tetiba je mata ni bergenang, mmg dh meleleh pon, bukan apa.. sebab terharu sesgt.. malu pon ada.. segan pon ada, hepi pon ada... x tau nk ckp cam ne... cuma thanks to Allah, kerana pertemuan ini diberkati...

but on thursday (10th may), i decided to back to college, konon nyer nk setle masalah yg ada.. huhu.. tapi semuanyer hampeh jer... last2 ikut yoe pi shoppin kt jusco cheras... 1st time sampai sana... huhu~~ so on monday... once again, jan ngada2 nk balik klang semula.. last2 ntah camno wrong timin... terlewat sampai, dh la bancik balik kol 5 ari tu, jan sampai lak kol 7.. huhu~~ 2 hrs menunggu kt KJ tu... apa lagi... paham2 je la.. x mo la jan citer, sebab x best pon... pepon, hope tat was the first and the last... no more after this... dh baper kali daa jan tulis menda nie, bukan apa, saja.. buat peringatan tuk diri sendiri gak... and maafkan jan lagi sekali ye bancik.. adeh ilang plak mood nk nulis bila tingat menda nie... abis idea dibuatnyer... ermm sambung lain kali la plak... mungkin petang nanti kot.. huhu... and mlm tu.. layan je heroes 3 episod sekaligus tanpa perbualan.... huhuhu~~ mati kutu, mati akal... mati katak jan dibuatnyer.

and kak lisa... sowwie gak.. so sory ye... pasal besday ari tu... pasal x bagi ubat tido... apa lagi ek.. mcm2 la... mcm byk la plak buat salah nie... maafkan jan ye... and thanks for so caring and sharing... i needed that...

to be continue...

Memories to All My Friends...

Suddenly I realize that
we are at the end of a period as students
and soon will be leaving the campus
with a lot of memories
are those is have with you
the way we used to walk and talk
will always be remembered
the happy times we knew
to Allah I pray
hoping someday soon
will find us making memories again

lots of luv
Guyd@Costa

Penantian Satu Penyeksaan?

Huhu... selamat pagi semua... erm... x tau nk buat pe pepagi buta cam ni... semua orang pon sudah masuk tido... nk buat keje.. otak penat lagi nie... badan pon capet bangat... kaki pon lenguh semacam jer, padahal baru pusing2 skit je mid valley tu tadi... ingatkan nk pi cari kasut ku yang hilang... bak kata pepatah, patah tumbuh hilang berganti... kasut hilang, fulus pon lesap... kui3... tapi punye la susah nk cari saiz yg seswai... ada pon x berkenan plak.. ermm.. nasib la ko kaki... pusing2.. jalan2... pergh, tgk jam dh kol 4 lebey, so apa lagi rushing kuar amik komuter pi kl sentral.. kan silap timin lak kan... sapa nk jawab? x sanggup jan nk menahan ribut taufan yg melanda lak nanti kan... sib baik la sampai awal... biar awal jgn lambat... itu la satu peringatan yg keras lagi tegas yang jan akan ingat sampai bebila... so, ribut tak de, hujan x der, petir pon x der.. yg ada cuma bayu yang lembut bak sutera.. kui3...


erm... sementara bancik dok tido nie... kak zue pon tido.. mijal pon tido... kak lisa, confirm dh tido kalu kol 12 cam nie... bagus2... tapi tinggal la jan terkulat kulat kat sini sesorang... best apa.. kesunyian itu satu kedamaian, satu ketenangan... huhu~~ dah melalut daa~~

erm... dh berzaman dh x update blog nie... blog fs pon x update, blog multiply.. lagi la... cam dh berkubur jer... cuma x bernisan jer.. huhu~~~ kalu x bz, apa lagi alasannyer...
adeh, nk tulis apa nie... idea x der... kering kontang.. jiwa serabai.. sib baik jari jemari ni reti menari... ada la jugak menda yg dok merepek nie...nk citer pasal keje cam bancik n kak lisa, jan ni blajo pon x abis2 lagi... nk citer bab cinta cintun, lagi la jan ni x reti... nk citer bab jenjalan, jauh panggang dari bara... nk citer bab famili lak... sengih sorang je la jawabnyer... tulis je la apa yg terlintas... x yah la susah2 nk pikir...

lambatnyer lagi kol 2.45 a.m., nk tak nk.. kena la tunggu jugak kalu dh arahan big boss... kena bangunkan big boss ni semata-mata nk tgk bola, AC milan lawan liverpool nie... huhu~~ kalu ikutkan hati mau je biar bancik tido sampai pagi esok... ye la, kalu senang nk bangun esok pagi tak pe la, ini idak.. kesian kak zue dok bangunkan dia.. kan nanti x cukup tido, mula la ada yg x kena.. huhu~~ fuh! fuh! mintak jauh la tu semua... sapa yg x seram kalu mr hazir dilanda angin kus-kus... satu kampung haru dibuatnyer... bancik, yg ni lak, bila nk berubah... bangun awal... x suka marah2... kan pandai suruh org lain berubah je kot, dok nasihat itu ini... apa lagi... mcm2 la. org kata, sebelum nk nasihat tu, diri kita tu yg kena beringat dulu.. baru la nasihat tu lebey afdal... senang org lain nk dengo.. huhu~~~tak gitu ker...
ermm... bola ni baper gol bancik, x ckp pon.... ermm x kisah la baper pon.. janji ac milan menang sudah.. huhu~~ sejak bila la plak jan ni minat bola nie.. heran2...

sejak dua menjak nie... mana kak lisa menghilangkan diri? suatu x-files baru, misteri yg x terungkai dek misteri di tv3, mahu pun oleh edisi siasat di ntv7... kak lisa dengo tak nie.. adik2 mu merinduimu.. ting tong... lis... ye mak... kawan nk jupe... kui3... tingat plak iklan follow me..
perlukah ku ketuk pintu hatimu... perlukah ku tatap wajahmu... perlukah ku syairkan puisi... oooh tidak... tak perlu itu semua, cuma satu penutup dynamo sudah cukup utk menanggalkan kotoran sedegil kak lisa... miahaha... ooo tingat plak baju yg dibasuh.. sudah siap ke... take 5!
ok masa iklan dah tamat...

back to the story.. ermm citer apa ek? ntah la.. dh abis kot.. dh x tau nk tulis apa... tapi kan, penantian suatu penyeksaan... huhu~~ pembelajaran pada pagi ini... seksa jugak nk tunggu kol 2.45 nie... saat yg berlalu bagaikan terlalu lama (yg bebenornya masa semakin cepat berlalu), mata ku mula terasa kesayuan... redup2 kerinduan mula jelas kelihatan... huhu~~ patut la bancik hangin satu badan ek, bila kena tunggu jan selama satu jam ari tu, dh la penat bekerja, penat drive lagi.. penat otak lagi... penat muka tu lagi dok kontrol nk kasi nampak garang.. kui3...
ala, x der la penat mana pon menunggu nie.. sambil berguling2 dibawah kipas nie, sambil minum 100 plus yg sejuk lagi nyaman, sambil bermain tenet nie... semakin segar mata ni adalah... x seksa pon tunggu cam ni, lagi selesa adalah kot! tapi, penat skit jer bebenornyer, lagipon menguji kesabaran kita apa... sejauh mana kita bersabar? ingat.... bersabar tu, separuh dari iman... bukan sebahagian atau pon secebis... tapi separuh! huhu~~~

ermm.. sekian saja ceramah saya pada kali ini...
saya akhiri dengan wabillahhi taufik wahidayah, wassalamualaikum warahmatullahhi taala wabarakatuh....

All by myself...

"All by myself... don't wanna be.."

Sendiri..
aku sendiri lagi..
buat sekian kalinya..

Kelmarin,
Kau menjelma dalam mimpi-mimpiku,
Meninggalkanku dengan seribu satu pertanyaan..

Dan semalam,
Kau hadir dalam hidupku,
Memberiku sejuta jawapan...

Namun hari ini,
Kau pergi tinggalkanku,
Yang tinggal hanyalah satu kesan nan abadi...

Dan esok,
Masihkah ada sinar untukku,
Untukku teruskan perjalanan ini...


Bila hati melayang, pena pasti berdendang...
Guyd@Costa

Senyum Seindah Suria...

Senyuman yg terukir,
pasti menjanjikan kebahgian,
Setiap insan yg menatapnya.

Namun,
disebalik senyuman,
terlukir seribu keperitan,
Ironinya tiada siapa yg tahu.

Hakikatnya,
ku senang begini.


Bila hati terdetik, pena pun merisik.
Guyd@Costa

iN The NicK oF t!Me...

Salam buat abg besar dan akak besar... dan semua yg singgah dan lalu kat sini...

Last wednesday (18th of April), my frenz and i have a 2nd gathering after civil urban nite (bebudak civil final year student), having a BBQ, sausages, fried mee hoon, junks food, dessert and of coz la water... hehe~~ but... i still cant forget the taste of the BBQ made by bancik... spesel made by him to celebrate my 24th birthday... i will remember it until i will have another one.. miahaha~~

and the best part of the gatherin is the xtvts, handled by ourselves... 3 xtvts... the 1st one, main pecahkan ballon yg diikat kat kaki... mula2 camseram jer nak main.. kot2 mana la tau, ada orang pijak kaki ku yg gebu ni.. hikhik~~ tapi bila start main jer, jan la org yg paling hepi sekali.. mengejar member2 yg ketakutan.. takut ballonnyer pecah dipijak.. miahaha~~ fuh~~ penat giler... semput rasa dadaku... sib baik x pitam, nampak sangat la.. i've lost my stamina... but then, my group won this xtvt.. hehehe~~


the 2nd xtvt, main win, lose and draw... ala.. yang sorang lukis.. then member yg lelain teka la apa yg kita lukis tu... jan bukan tau sgt pon diorang lukis apa... apa lagi, dok kat depan tu.. then gelak sakan la kat bebudak ni... macam2 la diorang teka... kena kutuk pon ada gak... sampai nk pecah perutku yg dh penuh ngan santapan tadi... my group lost this xtvt in the final round.. that's ok... i've lots of fun tats nite..

and the last one, main ballon gak.. agaknyer x der budget kot diorang ni nk buat xtvt lain.. ekeke~~ main sambut ballon yg diisi air... mula2 semuanye berjalan dengan ok jer... but, ntah mcm mane ballon yg by other partner yg dok sebelah aku tu jatuh dan bergolek... tapi x pecah lak.. hehe~~ apa lagi, dgn perasaan yg selamba, aku pi pijak la balloon tu sampai pecah.. miahaha~~ terasa cam jahat jer... lepas tu, keadaan bertukar la menjadi kelam kabut, sebab ketidakpuasan hati diorang.. huhu~~ dengan perasaan penuh dengkinyer, balloon ku pecah pada balingan seterusnya... so puas la hati diorang... huhu~~

so, sampai la sudah ke penghujung gatherin, sesi bergambor and penyampaian hadiah yg ntah apa2 ntah.. walaupon sempoi.. but the joy of the nite is the best... cam hilang jer semua serabut kat kepala... ngan thesis, ngan exam.. huhu~~

Petang tu, terpaksa buat emergency leave of ym jap pi the mines shoppin fair, sebab nk pi cari memory card, mmc.. apa daa diorang nie... kelam kelibut jan dibuatnyer... kalu nk minta tolong tu... kasi la tau awal2.. x der la org rushing. so, terpaksa la minta tolong si yoe.. merempit la aku ngan dia... ingatkan sekejap jer.. dia plak nk shoppin menda lain.. x leh tgk menda murah skit, mula la rambang bijik mata tu.. itu la.. ini la.. semua nyer nk beli... then, dlm kol 5 tu, hujan lebat lak... so, stay la kat situ sambil pusing2 the mines tu... dah jenuh aku pusing the mines tu.. dah lima taun daa... huhu~~then kol 6 lebey, still hujan lebat.. nak tak nak terpaksa redah hujan.. sebab cikgu yoe nk pi ngajor tuisyen lak kat putrajaya... huhu~~ bagus tol member aku sorang nie, rajin tol dia keje part time... kalu jan, jgn harap ler... maleh semaleh malehnyer.. hehe~~ tak pe, ko keje la rerajin ye yoe.. nanti leh belanja aku mkn2.. huhu~~

on thursday nite (19th of April), i planned to go to KLIA to see my siblings, abg li and his wife, kak ana, adik chu, adik amir and my niece, yuyu...5 of them will depart to Mekah for umrah in the next morning at 4 a.m.. but, i'm not alone.. at first, aku ajak yoe temankan, sebab x pernah pi pon KLIA tu, so perancangan awal nk naik jer erl tu... then, after i told to kak lisa, dia plak beriya-riya nak ikut... so, i can't stop her desire... nak tak nak... dia nk ikut gak... jan no hal la sis, as long as tak menyusahkan akak, tapi betul ker? sampai kena amik cuti half day... then kena redah traffic jam lagi... it cost u a lots... your time, your works and even your money.. hehe~~
but, i really thankful to Allah.. coz u really sincere to help me...

the evening before we went to KLIA, bancik plak ngada2 nk majuk, ada ke patut cakap jan x ajak dia pi KLIA, padahal jan terang2 lagi cakap kat conference tu... kan kak lisa kan? terpaksa la anto sms memujuk... miahaha~~ susah tol la abg besor jan ni sorang... x leh silap sikit, sensitip sgt... tapi jan mmg berharap sesgt pon, bancik leh join kitorang skali kat KLIA tu... teringin nk main ngan mijal nie... dah dua tiga mlm dok mimpi... dok teringat kat mijal tau... then mula la sengih sesorang... huhu~~ tapi, jan tau, u cant make it... so, jan tak mau la paksa... lagipon bancik still sakit... then penat bekerja, penat memandu lagi.. so, u better rest a lots, k... nanti bila dah sihat, boleh la bawak jan pi jenjalan lagi.. hikhik.

I'm so hepi to meet all of them, after about half year not in touch with them... and also this is the 1st time, i've met my sis-in-law... kak Ana... then spent a few hours with them til 2.30 a.m... even its a short one... thats ok.. we will meet again soon... insyaAllah. so after sent them to balai pelepasan tu... we juz went ahead to balik kolej, but.. disebabkan kesilapan teknikal... jan telah dianto pulang ke kota damansara... huhu~~ dengan sehelai sepinggan lak tu... or i was kidnapped by my sister? huhu~~ tapi seronok gak kalu diculik cam nie, dah la dapat layanan 1st class... semua nyer ditanggung halal lak tu.. miahaha~~ kalu cam nie, culik selalu pon jan tak kisah... ekeke~~ so, tido la jan kat palma puteri tu....

so the next mornin, kuar dlm kol 11, have a lunch, nasi ayam... then kimi anto kak lisa pi keje and after that, kimi anto yoe ngan aku balik kolej lak... sampai2 kol 1.30.. huhu~~ paham2 je la.. so, ajak la kimi naik, lagipon dia ngantuk.. suruh je dia tido atas katil ku yg empuk tu.. huhu~~ dalam kol 4 lebey baru la dia balik...

p/s: kak lisa, thanx for the luck charm.. selalu jer buat jan suspen tau... ni yg jan sayang nie.. lain kali bagi la lagi.. miahaha~~ dun wory,k.. i will take care of it... and give it back to you soon.. insyaAllah.

ThE 1st & tHe FoReMoSt...

Salam semua...

selepas sekian lama blog ni diperam.... akhirnya tiba jugak masanya utk memunculkan diri setelah kak lisa dan bancik create blog memasing... so, i juz don wanna leave behind... hehe~~
kalu x, tak fair la kan... miahaha...
nak tak nak.. kena la belajo semua ni dalam masa yg terdekat... org lain dok sibuk study tuk final, si jan ni lak dok bz buat menda alah nie.. huhu~~ best2...


ok la.. still kena belaja lagi ni.. nk kasi gempak giler babeng blog ku yang encem ni.. mcm la tuan dia.. kui kui kui... dan yg penting, mesti kasi abg besar dan kakak besar ku jeles sejeles jelesnyer... ekeke~~~

erm... so, itu aje la utk pembuka bicara... sekian, terima kasih.

p/s: ingatkan senang jer nk buat blog nie... rupa2nyer susah giler babeng... pening kepala ku dibuatnyer...
oh ye.. lupa lak.. adbrite yg bancik suruh taruk pon lom buat lagi.. cam ne ek? tulun.. tulun.. tulun.. eep me! eep me!