The clock shown quarter past 5 in the morning... but my eyes still wide open... tried to sleep 2 hours ago... but it not easy for me to do so... for more than 2 hours, i just lay down like a dead body with my eyes staring at the pitch black ceiling... outside, i hear the chill wind blows peacefully nevertheless its warm here.. my head, never stop thinking... about the past the future and the present... anything and everything... sometimes i roll back to the past, tried to remember those days... and sometimes, i fast forward... imagine what will happen next.. and sometimes i stop... looking to these day that i regret the most... and sometimes i lost... dunno which way i should go, which path i should choose... and its really difficult.. and im confused... i cant make up my minds, it seems.. the life never been easy for me... everywhere and anywhere i go, its all the same...
Suddenly i realize... again, i was crying alone in the dark... i dont want to, but the tears keeping trickle down from my puckery eyes... then i just let it goes down... i tried not to hold anymore... tried to scream... but i lost my voice... even though, there is still no one to reach out.. lastly, my tears was drawn out.. no more tear to cry... but i feel much better... but still i feels like raindrops keep falling into my head.. its hard night for me... its so thick and deep... and so long... like i can across the seven seas in just one night.. how long is it???
...and i still waiting for the light as im writing this damn same thing.
its like a deja vu... i thought i ever wrote these thing again and again not long time ago.. what i wrote is soo much alike this.. and its never turn to be gud... or better.. am i rite?? as im asking to myself...
wow, i feel much better now... its help me a lot.. never know it can drain out so much burden from my head... may be i dont talk too much lately... and its really hard to see me smile... unless i force myself to do so.. no one to share... and i chose to be alone... may be its juz the way i am to be.. its my nature.
ops... got to go... subuh is comin... gosh.. forgot.. got a work to do this mornin... oh nooooooooo... im dead... or should i playing dead rite now??? hahaha~~~
smile.. and the world will smile back to you.. lastly, one more a very happy ending story from me....
muchos... adios... gracias... (what is it mean???)
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