wHaT i'M GoNna Do?

So scary! I’m scared… you know what? Gosh… so embarrassing… hope that wasn’t true at all… I juz knew it and bcoz of that, I’ll be most worry-est person that ever lived in this world… last Friday, I juz ask my brother to cut my hair… well, it since more than a month I didn’t cut it… its quite long and I looked totally messed up with that cutting… like unmanaged people I’d became… then suddenly my bro make a very cruel, unbelieveable statements that never comes out in my head… “I think you have a potential to have no hair at the top of your head in the next 5 yrs… like a famous actor, zibo or someone else”, it means I’ll be bold in no time! Its that true??? Im barely to fall out… yup, im totally scared.. many times I asked him juz to make sure and to confirm is that the rite thing I heard or it is juz my stupid imagination… but, hell no.. it is true.. “You lose pretty much hair, do you?” he asked again and again... yup I guess so… but I let it unanswered. May be I think too much... but what am i thinking? That is what I cant answer myself… im a weirdo i guess… or do I have some kind of disease… ops.. don’t wanna talk about that…

Erm… well… may be that it the only thing that comes out in my head now and then… and I cant think anything else… ooo yup, I juz got the message late at nite or may be early in the morning last two days ago from bancik while i'm still watching tv, after he heard some rumors or news and I tot I missed that news... huhu~~ neways, thanks for being so concerned that much… fyi, everyone here included me juz fine… the only thing damaged may be the house behind my house (my dad’s chicken hut.. huhu), lost their roofs.. all of it.. quite crazy and angry the wind that nite I guess.. (what language I used actually?), bcoz of that, i slept early that nite coz i cant watch tv (quite sad...) huhu~~ what a great slept i have... erm... other damages is.. my sis house lost some part of the components of her house.. and my family business was interrupted many day and times… it is a hard time for them I guess… beside that excluded the situation, everything was great… dun worries… and thanks again for that… ooo yup... one more things… sory bout my thing at bancik’s house.. may be its bothering and disgusting to be there for so long… sorry…

LeaN oN mE

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody
to lean on.

Please swallow your pride, if have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna' need
somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother if you need a friend.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.
I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.
Call me (if you need a friend)
Call me

p/s: my bro & my sis... i'm always here to share,to listen and to carry on...

aM ! nOboDy?

The situation got harder and harder… and absolutely out of my control… out of my mind… out of my imagination… out of my expectations… and what else? May be out of my life too… hope everything will be fine soon, coz I cant stand with this situation anymore… I juz don’t understand, why it always happen… Why and why? Its kind of bad situation I’d been rite now… and I lost to the situation! Im drowning into bottomless deep dark situations…i dun expect anyone to understand my situations, but i juz need a space for myself...

It was messy here and there… I wish I have a place somewhere to go rite now… far away from here… I cant stay any longer at this place for a moment… what happened to this family actually… geez… so shame to talk about that… but I juz wanna it out of my head… I cant keep it for any much longer… hope I’ll be fined after this… bcoz this is the only way to help me out from this situation rite now… I don’t have anymore choices left I guess... and hope this will help me to have a better sleep, I juz wanna sleep rite now… im so tired… really exhausted… ooo...where is my angel to pampers me all nite long? i wish u here rite by my side...

Ermm… I don’t wanna talk anymore bout that… I juz wanna let it out actually… so, i guess that’s it for now… oo before that, juz a little advice to sis lisa… u better take a gud care of urself… take ur meds… don’t pushed urself too hard.. I know, work is important things.. but ur health is the precious gift… please be kind to urself and I prayed u will get well soon… and hope u’ll find someone to take care of you… and to my big brother...juz dont sell the ps2 yet… u still have me here… of coz I’ll help u… okies… I cant say much, coz I dunno the situation over there… but please, don’t make any foolish steps.. coz u always have a better choices… believe me, ur ps2 is worth more than rm500… it is priceless… u cant buy it from anywhere or changed it with a couple bucks…of coz not! what the hell are u thinking? sowwie~~ i dun mean to be rude...
well, Im not force both of u to listen to what im saying… coz I know im not gud as well… may be worse… And I know, nobody listen to me this whole times… im nobody! but please think twice (may be thousand times..) before u act… think the consequence of ur action… be wise!

sMaLL thINgs... SmaLL taLks for a sMall pEopLe Like ME!

Juz hangin’ with this laptop… but nothing much to explore… of coz la not, this wasn’t mine… ooohhh im miss my pc soo much… a month oready since I left her… is she gonna miss me? Is she will be ok? Of coz la ‘he’ will never take a look at she.. ooo what a pity? Kui3… hope I come back soon and I can play with her everyday and every night then.. huhu~~ of coz a lot of thing to do after this… to do a maintenance, to update, to clean up and sooo on.. damn… im miss her so much..windunyer... pada si dia... jangan pisahkan, aku dan dia.. tuhan tolong la... bla bla bla....

Ermm.. well, this is july oready… I shud finish up my last day of holidays… and the things I scared most appeared at last… come back to upm! The place like a %*^# to me rite now! But I didn’t plan anything yet… even I didn’t buy a ticket yet (nak tunggu orang datang jemput kot..huhu), not register the damned paper yet, not ready at all.... I wish I have a job rite now, whatever la pepon, cleaner pon ok kot! tukang masak ker, babysitter pon best gak… I hope I can extend that paper for the next ten years may be… huhu~~ dah malas giler dh nk amik subjek tu... and the things that un-settle was leave un-solved.. huhu~~ june 2007, not filled with such a gud things at all… I juz threw it like a rubbish… imagine that… 30 days = 720 hours = 43200 minutes = 2592000 seconds.. I juz waste it… what a fool?

Ooo yup, I juz remember that, on 30th june.. huhu~ nothing big event happened pon actually, but its quite funny things to recall back again and again (sebenarnya xder story nk ditulis.. miahaha~~), neways, it was the last day for en hazir worked at private sector firm named CCRNet as a manager… hikhik.. and cik lisa stil demam kot…. agaknya dia nk cipta rekod ke apa! rekod demam paling lama… miahaha~~ and I at home… at kitchen, my favourite place I guess, beside my bed (actually I dun have any in this house…kui3, where the place I slept, there is my bed…hehe), well, I guess im bored tahap cipan… dah la sekolah ari tu, gile ke apa diorang nie, ari sabtu pon nk pi skoll… huhu.. ganti cuti raya konon… well forget it!... then open sesame… huhu~~ terbukak la tudung saji kat dapur tu… ermm.. penuh dengan lauk pauk masakan my lovely mummy.. mama mia.. I juz picked up and took out the ikan panggang and ikan goreng…. And air asam.. huhu~~ apa lagi, acara meratah ikan pon bermula… huhu~~ 3 ekor abis diratah dalam sekelip mata.. sampai menjilat jari dibuatnya... but not finished yet, i juz curious to taste the fish eyeballs... miahaha~~ sapa la ajar si jan ni makan mata ikan… kalu makan fishball ke, fishcake x pe la jugak.. well, i cant stop my eager at that moment.. dengan kejamnya, mata ikan dikeluarkan dari lopak matanya... huhu~~ sib baik x kuar darah.. hehehe~~ pastu dengan lahapnya disumbat dalam mulut ku.. kui3.. what a surprise... hampir kesemua mata ikan yang ada telah dikeluarkan…. Entah mana menghilang mata ikan pada ari itu masih menjadi misteri… miahaha~~~ tiada siapa yg tahu... a new history was created in my life! Ekekeke~~ one more things, I juz miss the taste of budu… so yummy…bancik, kak zue, kak lisa, mijal... xmo rasa budu ker? kalu nk, nanti jan bawak as souvenirs.. miahaha~~ nk ke tak? baik ckp copet sementara stok masih ada... best bangat... masuk tido pon leh bau lagi budu kat tangan nie... hehehe~~

I guess I need to stop here, nk main sudoku la plak, sejak bila la si jan ni reti main menda alah nie, tapi, yang ari t upon, x setle2 pon lagi.. nk harapkan abgku yg sorang tu.. erm.. apa nak buat, orang xmo tolong… x pe la… nk wat cam ne… begini la nasib ko jan… lantak la ko jan (he said that...) tapi rasanyer, bila dh setle that sudoku, I tot that was the last kot I play sudoku… pening kepala dibuatnya… well, I juz need to finish the last one! One more to go...

ooo ye.. sebelum terlupa.. bancik2.. bila nk blanje jan pi tgk transformers nie... kui3... cam best la plak... tapi kalu x mo blanje pon x pe gak, tapi kena bekerja la skit (bancik pon kan nyer ada keje lain wat masa ni kan...hehe), pi donlot! miahaha~~ copet skit ye... nanti jan pi sana, make sure semuanya dh siap... ermm.. lagi jan nak tgk spiderman 3, ocean 13's, pirates of the carribean 3, pastu apa lagi ek... citer yg best2 la.. xmo citer seram.. miahaha~~ adeh harap2 hajatku ini kesampaian la ye dan ada yg sudi mendengo nyer... hikhik~~ (i dun want answer like lantak la ko jan or such a things.. huhu)..please..